Drabble Royale
by Ms. Videl Son
Summary: A series of drabbles/OneShots that do their best to answer random DB/Z/GT questions such as: What happened to Lunch? Why doesn't Krillen have a nose? Each will be kept between 50 and 1000 words.
1. Lunch, Where For Art Thou?

**Title: **Drabble Royale  
**Disclaimer:** Don't make me waste my words on this...  
**Rating: **G ( K ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.  
**Featured Characters:** Lunch, Tienshinhan and Krillen  
**Theme/Question:** What happened to Lunch after _Dragonball_?  
**Word Count:** 163

And away...we...GO!

* * *

"Hey, Tien!" Krillen called, waving his hands about madly to catch his three-eyed friend's attention.

Finally looking up from his meditative position, Tien smiled (sort of). "Krillen! How long has it been?"

"About three years," replied the former monk. "What have you been up to?"

"Training."

Krillen laughed. "So same old, same old, eh?"

"Pretty much," replied Tien, his lips bent slightly into a smirk.

"Still a confirmed bachelor?"

"Yeah, it's just me and Chiaotzu up here," the triclops explained, nodding his head toward the mountain peak above them where a little house was settled amongst the crags.

"What ever happened to that Lunch chick?" Krillen couldn't help but ask. The last he'd heard of her, she'd gone off chasing Tien into the great blue yonder.

"She...died," Tien said, all traces of his former almost-smile gone from his face. "Two years ago this February."

"Oh...," replied Krillen, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Bank robbery gone wrong, or somethin'?"

"Sinus infection."

— — —

**Author's Notes:** Just for the ever livin' hell of it, I'm going to start writing DB/Z/GT drabbles. It sounds like fun and, besides that, it's a great opportunity to write about characters other than Gohan and/or Videl (though I'm sure they'll show up in this at some point, too) without having to spend a lot of time developing plots 'n whatnot. Plus, I get to answer some random DBZ questions that had always puzzled me (what happened to Lunch, why Krillen doesn't have a nose, how VB hooked up...etc). If you've got any themes/DBZ questions that you'd like me to address, just drop them in the review box and I'll do my best to answer them for you!

Anyway, I expect most of these drabbles to be between fifty and a thousand words and humor-based, but I'm sure that a few other random genres (maybe angst, romance, action/adventure, etc) will get mixed in, too. Multiple characters/pairings will be featured, as well, so this is a drabble "battle royale," if you will. (That's my title pun and I'm stickin' to it.)

Anyway...read on. There's bound to be something you like in this _eventually_.

_**. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .**_


	2. The Krillen Nose Conundrum

**Title: **Drabble Royale  
**Disclaimer:** Don't make me waste my words on this...  
**Rating: **G ( K ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.  
**Featured Characters:** Krillen and Goku  
**Theme/Question:** Why in blazes doesn't Krillen have a nose?  
**Word Count:** 209

C'mon, you know you've always wanted to know...

* * *

"Say, Krillen, I've always wondered...," Goku began, tilting his head at his long-time best friend curiously.

Turning his head in Goku's direction, Krillen replied without so much as sitting up in his lawn chair. "Wondering about what, Goku?"

"Why don't you have a nose?"

The former monk lifted his sunglasses away from his eyes to stare at Goku properly (all the better to look at him funny, my dear. "_What_?"

"Why don't you have a nose?" Goku repeated, scratching his head and looking very much like a curious chimp. "I mean, I've got a nose and Bulma's got a nose, but why not you?"

Finally deigning to levy himself out of his comfortable position, Krillen shifted bodily so that he was facing Goku. Fixing a serious expression on his face, he said, "Well...when I was a kid, some of the older monks were playing 'got yer nose' with me. One day, they didn't give it back."

Goku's eyes widened to the size of serving platters. "Wow, really? That's awful!"

"_No_, not really," Krillen replied with a hearty guffaw. How dippy did you have to be to believe _that _one?

One look at Goku's bewildered face and Krillen felt his internal query was answered.

"Then...what _really _happened?"

"Magic."

— — —

**Author's Notes: **Credit for this idea goes to dearest Timmy (aka, TimothyJamesF on DeviantArt).

_**. ( . Ms. Videl Son . ) . **_


	3. Hair Style

**Title: **Drabble Royale  
**Disclaimer:** Don't make me waste my words on this...  
**Rating: **G ( K ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.  
**Featured Characters:** Bulma, Yamcha and Mr. Satan  
**Theme/Question:** What happened to Bulma's 'fro?  
**Word Count:** 189

Worst...hairstyle...choice...EVER. Except maybe the mullet.

* * *

"Hmph!" snorted Bulma to herself, dropping herself into a cushy armchair in front of the TV. "What does _he_ know about style, anyway? He's had the same stupid hair since we were teenagers!"

That Yamcha! He had such nerve sometimes, he really did. Imagine trying to tell her – the all-knowing heiress to Capsule Corporation and amateur fashion guru – that perms were silly-looking.

Well, she'd show him. When she took him to the salon in two days and got him his own curly upgrade he'd eat his words. With such luscious volume adorning that thick skull of his, he'd come around.

Confident in her persuasive abilities once again, Bulma picked up the remote and turned on the television. Time to watch her stories!

"YEAH!" bellowed a gargantuan, afro'd man as the picture filled the screen. He was standing in the middle of what appeared to be a wrestling ring with his foot planted in the backside of another costumed fighter, reveling in the cheers the crowd threw his way. "Who's your daddy?! Eh, punk? Go on, tell me who's your daddy!"

...Then again, maybe perms _were_ going out of style.

— — —

**Author's Notes:** Don't forget, Mr. Satan was a champion wrestler before taking part in the Budokai **n.n** That's why Videl has all those nifty wrestling moves (remember the pincer?).

Did I mention before that I'm not going to bother editing any of these drabbles? No? Well, now you know.

_**. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .**_


	4. Secret Weapon

**Title: **Drabble Royale**  
Disclaimer: **Don't make me waste my words on this...**  
Rating:** G ( K ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.**  
Featured Characters: **Emperor Pilaf, Mai and Soba.**  
Theme/Question: **What has Emperor Pilaf been up to?**  
Word Count:** 505

For dearest Egg-Zilla (on DeviantArt).

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! (Even if you're not American.)

— — —

"Is the secret weapon ready?" the tiny green warlord asked his minions.

Jumping at once to deliver a smart military salute to their boss, both replied, "Sir, yes, SIR, Emperor Pilaf, sir!"

Turning a deadpan look upon the taller of the two underlings, – the ruby-lipped female – the venerable Emperor Pilaf said, "...right. Mai, are we prepared to test it?"

"Sir, yes – "

"Cut it out with all the 'sirs,' you nincompoop!" the minty green midget interrupted, his cheeks turning bright red as his frustration reached its boiling point. With the whistling steam pouring out of his ears, he looked exactly like a novelty teapot ready to be taken off its burner. "Just tell me if the secret weapon is ready to be tested!

Mai, who was sweating with fear because of her leader's vaporous tantrum, replied quickly and simply, "Y-Yes. We've got it all set up, Emperor Pilaf, si – er, highness."

As the last water particles evaporated into the air, Pilaf resumed his previous calm facade. After all, there was plenty to be cheerful about; with his new mail-ordered secret weapon in play, those dirty, rotten meddlesome kids would be destroyed and the dragonballs would be his! HIS!

"Excellent, Mai!" the Napoleon-esq psudo-villain exclaimed, taking a moment to savor an evil guffaw at his enemies' expense. "Soba, push the red button!"

"Th-the red button, milord?" the second, shorter minion of the canine variety stuttered, glancing over his shoulder at the secret weapon in question. The directions hadn't been terribly specific on what the giant catapult-looking...thing was supposed to do, so he was understandably (and visibly) hesitant about pushing the Red Button of Doom (or so the label called it). "Mai has seniority, milord. I believe that _she _deserves the honor."

Emperor Pilaf frowned at the polite refusal, but returned his focus to the female counterpart of his minion duo. "Well, Mai? Push the button!"

Instantaneously, the previously smirking Mai blanched a pasty white. "B-But, highness, I don't think I have the...qualifications to...Shouldn't you, oh Wise One, be the one to do the honors?"

On the verge of boiling over again, Pilaf snapped at the pair, "Fine! If you can't appreciate the special favor I've granted you, I'll just do it myself! Hmph!"

Stalking over to the hulking apparatus, the tiny monarch stopped right in front of the Red Button of Doom and poised his finger to strike.

"Watch, there's nothing to be afraid of you, imbec – " His last word was cut off as the machine turned on him, flattening him to the ground with a single, painful strike.

"Emperor Pilaf!"

"Sir, are you alright?"

As his clownish underlings leapt to his aid, Pilaf narrowed his bulbous eyes at the company sticker pasted to the base of the defective secret weapon. "Mai...," he beckoned, gasping for air.

"Yes, sir?"

"Get me...the...manual," he commanded breathlessly.

"Why?"

"I want...to call...the customer service hotline...for ACME Inc...and give them...a piece...of...my..."

Before he could finish his final word, Emperor Pilaf blacked out.

--- --- ---

**Author's Note: **Anybody who's ever seen a Wile E. Coyote cartoon knows why this drabble is funny XD

_**. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .**_


	5. Clean Up, Aisle Gohan

**Title: **Drabble Royale  
**Disclaimer: **Don't make me waste my words on this...  
**Rating: **PG ( K+ ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.  
**Featured Characters: **Gohan, Videl, Bulma, Krillen  
**Theme/Question: **Does Gohan have a sex drive?  
**Word Count:** 484

Okay...so I really just wanted someplace to put this on this site, lolz.

--- --- ---

"It's so peaceful here," the eldest Son child remarked as he allowed his eyes to scan the beautiful summer scenery around him. The sun was bright, the clouds were lazy and the ocean sparkled like a collage of precious jewels. It was a great day to go to the beach with his friends.

"So, Gohan...," Bulma said, catching his attention. As she smoothed creamy sunscreen into her skin, she continued, "How's school? Meet any cute girls lately?"

The demi-Saiyan teen tore his eyes away from the beautiful oceanic horizon and turned to his father's oldest friend. "Huh?"

"What she really wants to know," Krillen jumped in, nudging Gohan playfully in the ribs. "Is if you're seeing anyone."

Gohan paused thoughtfully before replying, "Well...yeah, I guess so. I see a lot of people."

Bulma and Krillen swapped identical looks of surprise before the former spoke again; "You mean...you're seeing a lot of girls?"

"Well, yeah," said the teen, clearly confused. He rubbed the back of his neck, an awkward habit he'd inherited from Goku. "There are a lot of them in my school. I see the ones in my class most often."

Krillen blinked at him, bewildered. "Well...wow, I never would've pictured that. Is there one in particular you see the most?"

"Umm...," Gohan pondered for a moment. "I guess Videl-san."

Bulma perked up at the mention of her name and cast a quick glance over her shoulder. "You mean Mr. Satan's kid?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Gohan answered, nodding. "I see her everywhere! She follows me around a lot and tries to unmask me. Sometimes, I swear I think she waits for me outside the boys' bathroom..."

The two old friends fell to the sand in a heap of disbelief.

"No, no!" Krillen said as he picked himself up. He waved his hands around as is if to physically dispel the notion that Gohan had latched onto. "What we're asking is if you're going out with any of them. You know, _dating_?"

"Oh!" Gohan blushed at the implication. "N-No...I'm not dating Videl-san."

"No?" Bulma queried a little skeptically. She was smirking at the blushing teen in a know-it-all way.

"N-No."

"Because maybe you should think about it," the heiress said, pointing to a spot down the beach.

Gohan turned and his tongue dropped out of his mouth onto the sand. There, attached to the lifeguard stand, was a life-sized poster of Videl posing in a bikini! She was smiling and winking at her audience with her chest thrown out enticingly. As if aware of her...endowments, she was leaning casually on a watermelon, mocking him. It made his blood boil.

"Hey, Bulma, pass me that towel," Krillen requested, stifling his laughter badly. "We've got a clean up on aisle Gohan."


End file.
